Let’s be honest: Not everyone who becomes a manager actually enjoys managing people. It’ often a necessary evil to some as you grow in your career. My wife started leading people in her mid-20’s and had to fire an employee; that led to the employee throwing his chair at her. “I’m done managing people”, she said…and she meant it and went back to being an individual contributor.

According to an amalgam of research from Gallup, Harvard Business Review, Deloitte and others, many in leadership roles feel overwhelmed, underprepared, drained by the demands of people management.

• 20–30% enjoy it. They derive energy and fulfillment in developing people.
• 40–50% tolerate it. They manage because it’s expected, not because they love it.
• 20–30% dislike it. They’d rather do their own thing if career growth allowed for it.

Managing people is hard and not because it’s just about giving direction. The difficulty lies in:

• Having tough conversations.
• Navigating emotional dynamics and diverse personalities.
• Delicately balancing business needs and human needs.
• Being responsible for others’ success (and failure).
• Deciding employment fates.

Many are promoted based on performance and then handed leadership roles without training or support. I failed often early in my career; I became introspective, sought mentors and patterned behaviors of good leaders to grow my own style and get better. While I sincerely believe that leaders are born and not made, I also believe that others can become better at leading others; some thoughts on how: But here’s the good news: Great managers are made, not born.

• Shift from control to coaching. Ask: “How can I help this person develop?”. Great managers create clarity and unblock progress, not micromanage.
• Build emotional intelligence. Listen to understand, not reply. Learn to recognize your. Managing people well means managing yourself first.
• Ask for feedback. Ask your team, “What’s one thing I could do better to support you?” Listen to understand, reflect, act on it.
• Don’t go it alone. Seek mentors, peers, coaches who can give perspective and guidance.

Not everyone loves managing people…and that’s okay. Act with purpose and more can become better at it.